Monday, June 16, 2008

the abundance of pollen gives me the sensation of constantly having just wept.

telling someone i don't trust you right now, & still an afternoon in the park. too many cigarettes. (im quitting) I hated chicago. everyone is uninteresting & more than that, unintriguing. my intrigue is the only way i know to keep people around. my hidden lives, let me suggest my hidden lives- now finding i am out of suggestions. am out of lives. if it can't find one thing i can find another. i don't know when i became so able to be alone but i can. I'm sure its only temporary. my heart is like an army and i have it surrounded. nobody, not a thousand beers can keep you from feeling alone. (remember that) i turn 24 on friday. freddy & lauren tie the knot on saturday. i bought a lucky rabbits foot & lost it. i need to eat more sushi. i need to drink less. i've been reading books on space. i want to be an astronaut. i cant even keep up with myself.






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